Fewer firecracker-related incidents for 2012 disappoint scavengers in Manila

Wednesday, January 2, 2013





Manila, Philippines---With the number of injuries caused by firecrackers in Metro Manila slashed by at least 17% compared with the same period last year, scavengers in the metropolitan had to make do welcoming 2013 with less of their anticipated new year's day treats.

"Usually, by this time, there'd already be at least two dozen freshly severed fingers in trash cans outside hospitals everywhere," says Xavier Villalose, 26, who's been wandering the streets of the capital since being fired from a call center in 2009 after he tried to bully his boss for a raise. 

"Last year, I found three barely torn ears in garbage bins around East Avenue Medical Center. One even tasted like a mestizo's!" he reminisces. "This year, you'd be hard-pressed to find a thumb! And I gotta tell you, most thumbs don't taste good!"

Xavier blames PNoy for his misfortunes.

"Because he's bald and gay."

Dr Eric Tayag of the Department of Health was not apologetic for the likes of Xavier, however. The assistant secretary smothered television cameras in December grinding to Psy's Gangnam Style to convince Filipinos that sacrificing body parts is not necessary to enjoy such visual entertainment. 

The department considered it a cracking success, as only 413 fireworks-related injuries from December 21, 2012 to January 1, 2013 were reported, compared to 498 in the same period last year.

The tally does not include starvation casualties which might eventually include Xavier before the week is over.

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Photo courtesy of: http://article.wn.com/view/2010/12/06/Educating_Manilas_rubbish_dump_children/

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